MENTAL HEALTH IN FOOTBALL – MY JOURNEY AND LESSONS

It is with great excitement that I write again in this blog after two years of absence; and what a couple of years they have been!  They began with me taking on the most important role of my life, as a father to a beautiful and smart boy.  I was involved in the promotion of the historical club Skeid to OBOS Liga, the 2nd tier of Norwegian football, alongside some of the most talented coaches and players in the country.  And, finally, I accepted what has been, until now, my biggest professional challenge, becoming head coach of Ready in the 4th tier of Norwegian football.

The latter was a determining factor, inspiring me to reach out to the football community again and share the learning experiences these past nine turbulent months have given me.  During this period, I have on several occasions called into question my football competence in its entirety. By competence, I am referring to everything that involves the leadership role of a coach: tactics, planning, delivering of sessions, management, scouting, in-game coaching, etc.  At the same time, this experience has forced me to grow in new ways as a coach and a football professional in general. My intention is to share with you the professional journey along which I find myself in, with hopes that you find relevance to your own experiences and challenges.

When I took the position at Ready, I was aware it would be very different from the experiences I have had so far in football. I have been extremely fortunate to have been part of organizations, as a player and as coach, with defined structures and a winning culture, which I understood was not the case at my new club. Fortunately, I realized early on that there were individuals in the club that shared my ambition and work ethic. They also wanted to develop a club culture that allowed for young talents to reach their potential by providing them with high level training as well as a senior football platform that would showcase them in the best way possible on their way up to elite level football. These individuals were key in me taking on this challenge and play a crucial part today in my continuous development.

One never knows exactly how big a challenge is until experiencing it. What for me started as a promising project with much energy and optimism, rapidly turned into the biggest stressor of my life.  The accumulation of bad results began to weigh on me and drove me to question if I was failing this group of ambitious young players and the club as a whole.

Two wins, two draws and 11 losses put us in last place of the league, a situation I was very unfamiliar with. Negative thoughts became the overpowering self-talk in my head. Thoughts such as, “I am not good enough”, “I am not ready for this challenge”, “if I cannot deliver results at this level, I have no chance at a higher level,” and many more.

As I write this, our record is the same, meaning the situation has not changed. However, I can assure you that my mentality and approach has indeed changed. I want to share with you what is helping me get through these tough times. I am certain you have already gone through these types of periods yourself and will most likely go through them again.

  • TALK! Find people with whom you can express what you are feeling. I am extremely fortunate to have a person at home that supports me through the toughest times, and family members that are continually there for me. I might not always like or agree with their advice or opinions, but I find huge value in being able to say out loud how I am feeling knowing I will not be judged, but only supported and loved.
  • Objectively analyse the situation. In my case, I seek help from fellow professionals in my field that I know will give me honest and constructive feedback, strictly from a football and performance perspective. This allowed me to change my approach to “I’m not good enough” to “these are the steps I need to take to change the course of the season.”
  • Emotional control. I live my profession very passionately, which is a strength and a weakness. I am working on being able to see the picture “as it is”, without the noise emotions can add. My emotional states often give situations a much more negative or positive value, both equally as dangerous.

We can replace any word in this text related to football and performance to whatever problem one may face in daily life. I have always been an advocate for using the values, skills and learning football gives and applying them to everyday life. I know I am not the only football professional that feels at times alone and uninformed on how to deal with mental health in high performance. Let this post be an open invitation to reach out and get the support you need to achieve your potential and goals. It is great to be back, and I hope we get to talk soon.

Thank you for reading,

Enrique Paez