I Have Failed…
There would be nothing I would have liked more than to write a new post sharing how we, at Ready Fotball, were able to turn around the season and avoid relegation. However, there will be no happy ending to this story which I began sharing with you earlier this year in my post “MENTAL HEALTH IN FOOTBALL – MY JOURNEY AND LESSONS.” The resounding phrase in my head: I have failed.
I want to share my thoughts in these difficult moments, maybe because writing them down somehow helps free me of them, even if just momentarily. When I last opened up about this challenging season, I shared three concrete steps I was taking in order to change the season’s trajectory. These were: speaking openly to loved ones, trying to balance my emotions, and seeking advice from professionals in my field to provide a neutral perspective. As with any process of personal growth, this one was not perfect. Some days I succeeded more than others in following my own advice. Nevertheless, I fell repeatedly into vicious and harmful mental cycles as bad results accumulated. From day one, this season put to test my perseverance, positive outlook, and self-belief.
Reflecting on it now, this difficult period has encouraged me to look for creative ways to inspire our players into believing we could achieve our goals. Despite the results, I am proud of the techniques I employed, such as demonstrating positivity in front of the group and encouraging team growth and strength. One activity I found extremely rewarding was giving players the opportunity to share an event in their life that had impacted them significantly. The idea was to get the players to know their teammates more in depth, with the hope that they would be more willing to sacrifice and support each other through whatever was happening on the pitch. I took a turn as well, opening up about a dark and complicated spell in my life and what it taught me.
Reading has always been a great source of inspiration for me. Recently, I have read a couple of books that have deepened my understanding of leadership, group management, and most importantly, the mental/spiritual journey upon which each of us is embarking. One book was 11 Rings by legendary basketball coach Phil Jackson, and most recently The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The former, allows you to deep dive into the intricacies of leadership at the highest level of performance, the latter guides you to regain connection to our true selves, escape the constant noise in our heads and achieve a state of connection to the present.
What I found most interesting as I read these books was the constant mention of the importance of being in the moment. Breathing exercises, awareness of the senses and disconnection from “the little voice in our heads” are some of the concrete actions mentioned in these books that can help us find peace and clarity.
Despite their simplicity, these have been extremely challenging concepts to put into practice; and have been what I (and I truly believe many of us) desperately need. That little voice has been guilty of filling my soul with doubt and negativity. It is such a powerful and relentless voice that many of us forget we can turn it off by immersing ourselves in the present. The more we are in touch with everything that is happening around us at a given moment, the freer we are.
As this frustrating season concludes, I feel I am a very different person from the one who started this adventure in March (feels like it started 5 years ago!). While I have no doubt that feelings of defeat and frustration gallop through my club, I hope we have grown as individuals and as a team. I am also certain that the next steps that follow for all of us are critical. I invite all of us to stop and reflect; do I know the necessary deliberate steps to achieve my goals? If so, what am I doing today/now to get closer to my goals? And finally, am I finding joy in this process?
Thank you for your time and enjoy this moment!
Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’d like to discuss any of the topics in this blog.
